Apples and Wine

APPLES AND WINE

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top
of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones
because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead
, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't
as good, but easy.


The apples at the top think something is wrong with them,
when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for
the right person to come along, the one who is brave enough
to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes,
and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until
they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

He or She?

See if you can tell who is a SHE and who is a HE

http://hemaleorshemale.com/ 

Man BBQing

A BBQ

It's the only type of cooking a real man will do.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain
of events are put into motion:

1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it
on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils
and sauces, and takes it to the man
who is lounging beside the grill -- beer in hand.

Here comes the important part.
4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and
cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is
burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another
 beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again...
7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO
THE WOMAN.

8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread,
utensils, napkins, sauces,and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does
the dishes.

Most important.
10) EVERYONE PRAISES THE MAN AND THANKS HIM FOR HIS
COOKING EFFORTS.
11) THE MAN ASKS THE WOMAN HOW SHE ENJOYED "HER NIGHT
OFF." AND, UPON SEEING HER ANNOYED REACTION, CONCLUDES
THAT THERE'S JUST NO PLEASING SOME WOMEN!