One-liner Words of Wisdom

A day without sunshine is like, night.

On the other hand... you have different fingers.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Remember, half the people you know are below average.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

Get a new bike for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!

If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.

When everything is coming your way, you're late

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.