smart ass answers‏

mart Ass Answer #5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to
check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand
for the ticket, instead he opened his trench coat and
flashed her. Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I
need to see your ticket not your stub."


Smart Ass Answer #4:

A lady was shopping for a turkey at the grocery store, but
she
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a
stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy
replied," No ma'am they're dead.


Smart Ass Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you
all day,"
the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as
fast as I
could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the
kid on his
way without a ticket.


Smart Ass Answer #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign
comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it,
the bridge is right Ahead of him and he gets stuck under the
bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car
comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks up to the
truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got
stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering
this bridge and ran out of gas."



#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005:

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final
exam.

"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being
here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a
serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your
immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!"
A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand
and and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The
entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When
silence is finally restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at
the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess
you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.