A major research institution has announced the discovery
of the heaviest element yet known to science - "governmentium."
It has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and
111 assistant deputy neutrons for an atomic mass of 312. These
312 particles are held together by forces called morons that are
further surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like sub particles called peons.
Governmentium has no electrons and is therefore inert. It can be
detected however since it impedes every reaction it comes into
contact with. A tiny amount of governmentium can take a reaction
that normally occurs in seconds and slow it to the point where it take days.
Governmentium has a normal half life of three years. It doesn't
decay but "re-organizes", a process where assistant deputy
neutrons and deputy neutrons change places. This process
actually causes it to grow as in the confusion some morons become
neutrons, thereby forming isodopes.
This phenomenon of "moron promotion" has led to some
speculation that governmentium forms whenever sufficient morons
meet in concentration forming critical morass. Researches believe that in
Governmentium, the more you re-organize, the morass you cover.
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